If you want to increase your chances that a second date will follow the first, then please whatever you do, never ever do these 15 things on a first date…
1. A Timid Greeting
The greeting is one of the most important parts of the date, so don’t fluff it by being overly timid. Do you shake hands? Kiss on the cheek? A hug? Or all of the above? Personally I’ve always found a quick peck on the cheek to work best. Shaking hands is too formal and hugging too much contact too soon. Whatever you decide to do, do it with confidence. Being timid about it shows low self-confidence and is very unattractive to women.
2. Overdoing the Compliments
It’s difficult to pull off compliments with someone you have just met, unless you have a lot of practice! If you do compliment them on their appearance, make sure it’s genuine. Don’t just say something nice because you think it’s what they want to hear, it will backfire on you! There is really no need to throw compliments around on a first date, this is unlikely to be a deciding factor for a second date, so save them for another time when you are more comfortable with the person.
3. Underdressing for the Occasion
If you are going out to a nice bar or restaurant, don’t turn up wearing a Meltalica t-shirt and flip flops. Women love to get dressed up, so you can bet they will be putting in the effort. Dressing down shows that you are lazy and don’t care. So put on your best shirt and shoes, and your best boxers just in case the date goes better than expected!
4. Not Doing Your Homework
What do you know about your date already? From this you can prepare subjects of conversation, not just simple yes or no style questions. If you have met online then read their profile again and go over the messages that you have already exchanged. What would you like to find out about them? Preparing a list of at least 10 conversations topics will make it so much easier on the night. Keep them on your phone and check them on a toilet break if you get stuck!
5. Talking Too Much About Yourself
When it comes to first date conversation, the key is not to start with yourself. The biggest mistake guys make is talking about themselves non-stop and trying to make the girl like you. This actually has the opposite affect! The best thing that you can actually do is listen more than you talk. By listening it show’s that you are genuinely interested in them, which makes them feel special. Listen carefully for their passion subjects and show genuine interest in what they are saying.
6. Admitting That You’ve Stalked Them on Social Media
Everybody does it, but whatever you do don’t admit to it. Be sure not to admit that you’ve heard of ‘Aunty Betty’ or to bring up their trip to Mexico when they haven’t mentioned it yet themselves. If you think that you might slip up, then it’s probably best to stay away from their social profiles to avoid any embarrassing and date killing moments.
7. Being Negative, About Anything!
Nobody likes a negative person. You might have the worst job in the world, be struggling to pay the bills, or have an ex partner from hell. But for now, keep this to yourself. The date should be full of positive energy, being negative is a sure fire way of killing your chances of a second date.
8. Showing That You’re Nervous
Sadly for guys first date nerves are often a first date killer for women, so you do need to try and keep them in check. You’ll often speak much faster when nervous, so try to speak 25% slower, and to try not to fidget too much, cross your arms, or drink alcohol like an alcoholic fish. These are all dead giveaways that you are nervous and lack confidence. A little nervous energy is to be expected, just try to keep it in check.
9. Not Using Sticky Eyes
Maintain a good level of eye contact, I like to call this sticky eyes! But do break contact now and again else you may come across as a little weird. But please try to avoid staring at their cleavage if it’s on display. I know this is difficult and can be incredibly difficult at times, but if they catch you looking more than once your chances of seeing any further down are going to slip away.
10. Talking About Sex or Politics
Bringing up sex on a first date can be a serious turn off for women. A woman you’ve just met does not want to hear about your last sexual encounter – no matter how good or bad it was. And no matter how interesting you might find the upcoming US elections, political chat isn’t overly sexy or fun.
11. Having One Too Many
With many people feeling nervous before a date, having a quiet drink once you arrive at the spot can be a great way to ease some tension. But please stop before your 17th tequila shot! Getting the balancing act right between being bubbly and hilarious and having your head in a toilet bowl is the key to success here.
12. Leaving Your Phone On
After meeting turn your phone off and put it out of sight. The act of compulsively checking your phone every two minutes is a deal breaker. There’s nothing ruder than trying to have a conversation with a person who’s constantly staring at their phone. If you can’t go a couple of hours without checking Facebook, then take a peak during a toilet break.
13. Making a Fuss Over Paying the Bill
Chivalry is most definitely still alive and kicking. Guys should be picking up the bill on the first date, this is just how it should be. Also don’t make a big deal of it. However, on the second date it’s nice that the girl at least offers to pay, or you split the bill. If she doesn’t, this would raise a big red flag for me! Keeping the first date simple like coffee and cake also helps to avoid an expensive bill at the end of the night. I always recommend leaving dinner for the second date.
14. Asking if They Like You
If a girl agreed to go out with you, they probably like you, or at least some aspect of you enough to want to get to know you more. Psychologists say that we are more attracted to confidence as a trait than physical appearance. Asking if your date likes you is a patent display of low self-confidence and therefore in a cruel twist of fate, a sure way to turn your date off you.
15. Insist on Driving Them Home
If you are driving and they aren’t, you might be tempted to offer them a lift home. Although it does not hurt to offer, they will most likely say no since they have only just met you. So don’t insist on it – even if they live next door to you! This will definitely hurt your chances of a second date.