If you want to be successful at the online dating game, then it’s time to tighten the screws and light the furnace between your ears.
Big Ben wasn’t built in ten minutes, and neither is a killer dating profile that will attract more messages than a cow dung attracts flies on a hot summers day.
But don’t worry – it’s not rocket science.
I’ve already made all of the mistakes whilst finding my own online dating feet, so there’s no need for you to do the same.
Just follow these simple do’s and don’ts, and your inbox will soon be bursting at the seams.
Do tell stories. You’re a product, and if you want persuade potential buyers to make the purchase, then you’ll want to market yourself as the best thing since sliced bread. And the best way to do this is by telling stories. Don’t just say “I love to travel”, instead share a funny moment from a recent trip. Write like you talk and show your personality.
Do accentuate your uniqueness. We are all unique, and we all have different qualities, ambitions and goals in life. So don’t be shy, point theses out and make your profile more enticing than the next.
Do include the basics. Basics are often overlooked. So include details like your age, occupation, if you have children, if you’d like to have children, if you’re a smoker, and whether you’re looking for a fling or a partner for life.
Do keep it positive. Don’t mention previous relationships, medical ailments, insecurities or financial woes. Prospective partners want to feel that a date with you will be an exciting and enjoyable experience, not doom and gloom. Be confident, but not arrogant.
Do include more than one awesome photo. And ensure your photos reflect your current appearance. We all age more rapidly than we would like to believe, but boldness doesn’t happen overnight. Travel photos, photos in which you are doing something interesting, and photos with pets, all tell a lot more about you than a simple portrait.
Do use existing profiles for inspiration. Looking through existing profiles online can be a great way to gain some inspiration. But avoid the temptation to copy word for word, as after all, you are unique.
Do ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Pitching yourself is never easy, and your success depends on you getting it right. A good friend can check how your profile looks/reads, and maybe even add a few anecdotes that you hadn’t thought of.
Do join multiple dating sites. Don’t put all of your eggs into one basket by only joining only one dating site; make use of free trials to sign-up to at least three popular dating sites and you instantly triple your chances of meeting someone.
Don’t write your life story. I’ve seen profiles that are so long – I would need to inject Red Bull into my buttocks to reach the end without dozing off. The magical length that works well is 200-300 words, no more, no less.
Don’t attempt to describe your desired partner in minute detail. Unless you want to be labelled pedantic and picky. Instead, use words like a crystal ball to provide potential dates with a glimpse into their future lives with you, and make them want to be a part of that.
Don’t lie. Dishonesty is a major turn off. Nobody wants to be led to believe there’s an iPhone in their Christmas stocking, then to discover on Christmas day that it’s actually a Nokia. Everything comes out in the wash sooner or later, and with online dating it’s usually sooner rather than later.
Don’t forget to check your spelling and grammar. And definitely don’t use net-speak (ur, u, wat, lol), it’s a clear giveaway that you’re a lazy ass. Also keep an eye out for the most common grammar goofs like: your/you’re, its/it’s, there/their.
Don’t flash the flesh. Unless you’re more interested in casual encounters than long-term commitment, then it’s best not to show too much too soon.
Don’t forget your family. Strong family values are a sign of a trustworthy person, and their relationships are often more successful. So don’t forget to mention how important yours are.