Ok guys, this one is for you.
I have a little secret to pass on. Are you ready? The manner in which you ask a girl on a date makes a BIG difference as to whether or not she will say yes.
Let me explain what this means. Once, a guy friend needed a ride to the airport. While I was driving him, he seemed to say things to me that felt rehearsed. The gist of his speech was, he was trying to tell me that he wanted to pay me back for giving him a ride by taking me on a date.
I felt as if he had only asked me for a ride to the airport so that he would “owe me one.” It felt forced and completely turned me off. This was not how I wanted to be approached for a date. I could tell he liked me, but cornering me wasn’t the way to go. I would have preferred something more genuine, more natural. Maybe some casual encounters where we could both show mutual interest, so that asking for a date seemed the right progression.
Girls loved being asked out. It’s very flattering! But the way you ask may cause her to say yes or no. If you want to get more yeses than nos, read on! Here are some tips for HOW to ask a girl out:
- Do Some Field Work
Women crave connection. If she doesn’t know you, it’ll be hard for her to trust you. If you ask a random girl on a date, she has to consider that she is taking her life in her hands. Are you who you really say you are? Do you know how to behave on a date?
So take some time to get to know her first. Show her that you are interested by talking to her. Ask her about herself. Figure out what makes her laugh. Find out what she loves to do. If you show that you care, she will notice. As this is progressing, get a sense of how she is reacting to you. Does she laugh at your jokes? Is she interested in you in return? If you sense some interest on her part, then proceed to asking her out.
- Make Sure the Setting is Right
Ask her in person if possible. Get her when she is alone and not distracted by other things. Stand up straight and smile. If you can’t ask in person, call instead. Please don’t call her at work (yes, this has happened to me), or during her busy times of the day. Don’t ask her via a voice message. Don’t call her multiple times—call her once and wait for her to call you back. Be patient. If she’s annoyed she won’t say yes. If texting or IMing is a better option for you, try to ask when you know she is also texting and IMing you in return. Being in the moment is a much better setting.
Whatever setting you are in, strike up a conversation first and see how she is feeling about the day in general and about you. If she seems pretty positive, then lead into asking her out. Be ok with whatever answer she gives. Show her you are a good guy.
- Be Specific and Direct
If you want to go out, don’t be vague. Don’t say, “Let’s meet for coffee sometime,” or “We should totally hang out,” or “I have this thing, maybe you could come?” Those aren’t specific or direct enough. It doesn’t invoke a commitment. It allows for too easy of a way out. Not attractive.
Be direct and specific. Be sure she knows it’s a date between the two of you, and the time and place. “Do you want to go out Friday? I know this great sushi place. Pick you up at 8 p.m.?” She’ll appreciate your confidence. And confidence is definitely attractive.
- Your Intentions Matter
Maybe you’ve heard that women are mind-readers—to some degree that is true. Women have an extra sense about things. So if your intent isn’t pure, she can smell it from a mile away. Just by looking at you or listening to how you talk to her, she can tell a lot about you. So, make sure your intentions are right.
What I mean is this: if you want to go out with her just because she’s available, or you think you might get some action, or because it will help you in some way, it won’t work. Your intention must be that you want to go out with her because you are genuinely interested in her and want to get to know her better.