When I met the man I would later marry, there was no bolt of lightening, no music playing, or even an instant attraction. It was just my friend introducing us when we ran into him at an event. “Oh hey, this is Dave. He works at the radio station.” I thought, cool.
That was it.
For the next year, we were casual friends. We had some things in common, as we both worked in media. We would talk here and there, and he seemed like an interesting guy, but we were too busy with our own friends and our own stuff to do.
Our paths would cross occasionally. Each time I wouldn’t really think about Dave much, other than, “Gee he really is flighty!”
But then things started to change. A year to the day after I met him, we were both at the same event again, and we ran into each other, again. So he ended up tagging along with me and my best friend. Part-way through the event, my friend got injured and had to go to the ER. Dave had no obligation to continue tagging along, but still he met us at the ER, and he supported us. It was then that I really started to think he was a great guy after all.
I thought, maybe this guy is different.
Two months later he asked me out. His two best friends were engaged and he needed a date for a thing they were all doing together. At the time, I had been avoiding dating a few other guys, but when Dave asked, I said yes.
Long story short, the date was a disaster, but a funny disaster. To this day we still laugh about it, though we don’t like to think of it as our “official” first date, since it was so bad.
Thankfully, things didn’t end there. My best friend (almost recovered from her broken leg), urged me to go out with him again. I thought she was crazy, since the first date was so bad! But she convinced me by urging me to take the time to “train him” on how to be a good date.
Thankfully, we finally did go out on that second date. I’ll never forget it, because the week leading up to it, and then on the date itself, something came over me and him. We looked at each other differently. The world seemed to melt away. It was like no other feeling I had ever had before.
I was falling in love. He was the one.
It’s funny, because for many of my dating years, I would have sworn to you that I had indeed met “the one,” but they guy I was crushing on just didn’t know it yet. I think it’s pretty normal to have those types of feelings.
But being married to Dave for almost 12 years, I can tell you there is a big difference between crushing on a guy and actually being in love. And until it happens, you won’t really know what it’s like.
Don’t feel bad if you haven’t found the one yet. He or she is out there. It can take a while, and the waiting is the hardest part. But when it does happen, all of the waiting in the world will be worth it. Even if it takes a bad date to get there.
Here are some ways you will know if you have found The One:
- You think about him/her, but you aren’t obsessive.
- Your attitude about life starts to change. You see things differently.
- You can tell each other anything–I mean ANYTHING–and it doesn’t phase either of you.
- People start asking you what’s going on, because you look giddy.
- You aren’t worried about your relationship. You are calm.
- You call/text each other at all hours.
- Things just click naturally. You start to think alike.
- Not everything is perfect, but you work through issues together and are a great team.
- You stop “looking” at other guys/girls.
- You two are best friends.
- There is a lot of passion.
- You look forward to introducing him/her to your friends and family.
- You spend every possible minute together.
- People start asking what is up with you two.
- You start making future plans–together.