No risk, no reward. We’ve all heard it before. It applies to a lot of areas of our lives. You can’t get that awesome job if you never apply. That business idea will never take off if you never launch it. You can’t change the status quo unless you make your opposing view heard.
The hard part is, there is something you really want, and you may or may not get it. You are putting in a lot of your heart and soul into it, and in the end you aren’t sure if you will meet your goal or not. In a word, it can be terrifying.
The same is true of online dating. It really is a risk putting yourself out there, and then getting to know potential dates. It takes effort, but it may not work out. You risk getting hurt due to rejection.
I remember when I decided to try online dating for the first time. Sitting down to type in the web address to an online dating website got my blood pumping. I was nervous, but excited. Was I really ready for this? What could this mean for me? I was overwhelmed with the possibilities.
I started to create my online profile, but while it was really technically simple to upload a photo and type up some text about myself, the process wasn’t so easy. My mind whirled. I toiled over which photo to use—could this one attract the right person or not? I labored over the text. If I say this, will I even get any good responses?
Emotionally it was hard just to create that first profile. In doing this thing, I was admitting to myself and the world that my efforts of dating in the real world weren’t working for me. I wanted to have someone special in my life, but I didn’t have anyone yet. So I was trying another avenue.
That in and of itself felt like a failure to me. It felt like I was giving up in a sense. Thankfully, as online dating has gained in popularity, it’s no longer viewed a “last resort” option. These days, hopefully singles don’t have to think of themselves as a failure by utilizing online dating.
After creating the profile, it was official. I was in the online dating world. But the next step was even harder—putting my heart out there. That is the biggest risk of all. When you open up yourself to someone else, you feel vulnerable. And doing this online is a whole new ball game fraught will all sorts of tumbling thoughts and emotions.
What will they learn about me, and what will they think about me? Will they accept me? Will I even find anyone to talk to, let alone date? What if it doesn’t go anywhere and I fail at this too? Am I deserving of any sort of love or commitment?
All of these questions popped in my head, just as they do with anyone looking for love. I tried my best to keep my head in the game. I had to keep those negative thoughts at bay and remember why I was doing this in the first place. Every time I logged in, I had to pump myself up. I tried to tell myself—I am deserving. This could change my life. This is worth my time.
No risk, no reward, right?
Online dating isn’t easy, but I can tell you from experience that your efforts will be rewarded. Some of you may meet “the one” which of course is the ultimate goal. If that happens, I congratulate you. But if it doesn’t, there are still some take aways from your online dating efforts.
When it is all said and done, you can feel good in knowing that you aren’t someone who gives up. You tried your best. And in your risk of putting yourself out there, you opened up and learned a lot about yourself. That is a reward that you can take with you anywhere.