My friend Victoria is knee-deep in the online dating world and has been for a few years now. She currently has profiles on 5 different popular dating websites–though she spends most of her time on 2 of them.
“I love the variety… some are specific for different things. And you aren’t going to find everyone in your area on just one site. Plus, it’s just fun to meet new people and see where it goes.”
You could say Victoria has earned her “master’s degree” in online dating; she’s dated quite extensively and has learned a thing or two about what works and what doesn’t.
She likes to call them her Unwritten Rules of Online Dating.
Check them out:
Rule #1: Don’t view a person’s profile the day after a date.
It just shows you are being a little over-eager. Huge turn off. Hold your horses for a day or two, k? Take a chill pill and veg on Netflix to keep you offline.
Rule #2: View a profile once, fine. View it a second time–you should send that person a message or give up entirely.
Pretty much you are a stalker if you just view and never chat. You should ask yourself, “What do I want from this person?” Just imagine if you were at the grocery store, and a guy came up to you three times and stared, but never said anything. Creep-o! Just send a message already.
Rule #3: A first message should be similar to small talk–make it simple, but prompt a response that is specific to them (scout their profile for details).
Example: “Hey, how’s it going! I like your profile. What kind of art do you do?” Super short, super painless, but shows that you are paying attention.
Rule #4: Realistic pictures only!
Make sure your date will recognize you when you meet in person. Leave the glamour shot for your grandma’s hallway display. Be YOU. Take a picture with friends, show that you have a life in the outside world.
Rule #5: Message one person a day.
If you are serious about finding love, message at least one person a day. You can’t do nothing and expect anything to happen by itself. If you are only casually into the online dating thing, send like 2-3 messages a week.
Rule #6: Don’t push if someone doesn’t reply.
There could be a million reasons why they aren’t writing back, so try not to take it personally. Their busy signal is a sign that you should just move on. Eventually they may write back, but if they don’t, no worries. There is always your new message to someone tomorrow.
Rule #7: Mention the big things in your life on your profile.
If you have kids, are missing a limb, are still married, whatever…. be upfront about it. Don’t hook people online only to drop a bombshell later. Nobody wants to find out that stuff on the first, second, or third date.
Rule #8: Answer the website’s questions as honestly as possible.
If you don’t like kids, that’s fine–just answer the online dating website’s questions honestly. Please don’t waste your time or your potential date’s time by hiding something because you are embarrassed or want to project a certain image.
As my friend Victoria says, be the big freak that you are. Because you will only find the perfect person for you by being the REAL YOU.