In your mind, your upcoming date is easy and perfect, with flowers and chocolate and opening doors and plenty of conversation. Wait a second. Conversation? You go into panic mode. You mean I’m supposed to say… stuff?
If the thought of carrying on a meaningful conversation with someone you don’t know very well makes you feel a bit flustered, you’re not alone. The question is, what are you supposed to do about it? Don’t worry. We’ve got your back.
Just because you are more of an introvert and tend to fumble over your words, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a stellar date. All you need to do is be prepared for what to say so you won’t feel so tongue tied when the time comes. Here are several phrases to have ready to help you feel more comfortable and keep the conversation going in a good direction.
- You look great! Always keep this phrase in your back pocket. Commenting on your date’s appearance is always a good way to start off the date, especially when you first see each other. Some other phrases could be: I love your dress. Your hair looks amazing. You look really stunning. The first time you say these types of comments, you may feel a little funny or cheesy. But trust me, they will put you both at ease. Who doesn’t want to get told that they look amazing? It really helps to break the ice.
- I love… (fill in the blank). A date is where you both learn about each other. If you don’t ever talk about what you love, your date will leave still wondering what your true passions are. So be prepared to tell your date about the things you love, plus the reasons why. I love golfing because of the beauty of the course, plus the precision of the game. Don’t be afraid to express yourself here. Even people who don’t have the same passions will still appreciate them in others. These are your passions, so own them, even if you aren’t super experienced in them; your passion alone will speak volumes. I love drawing. I love creating something new on a blank page. This type of phrase is also a great lead-in to your overall hopes and dreams, a great topic of date conversation. Just make sure to reciprocate and ask your date what they love as well.
- Oh really? Tell me more. When your date is talking, they are just as nervous as you are. The whole time they are talking, they are wondering if you even care about what they are saying. They will need some feedback from you in order to keep going. So give it to them by encouraging them to continue talking! A few other similar phrases: Wow, that’s so interesting. How did you do that? Why did that happen? Holy cow, that’s incredible!
- This food is delicious! Your date needs to know if you are a positive person or not. That’s actually a huge part of meeting and getting to know each other. The things you say will be a big clue to your overall personality. If you like the food, say so! You can then talk about foods that you both like. If you don’t like the food, then talk about something else positive, such as your favorite places you’ve traveled recently, or other things you might find in common with your date. I loved visiting New York. It’s such a vibrant city with so much history. Your date will instantly know that your outlook on life is positive and that you can find the positive in most anything.
- I had a really great time. At the end of the date, it’s important to leave each other knowing where things stand. If you had a good time, say so! You don’t have to make another date right then, but it definitely opens the door to the idea. Try not to feel pressure to do anymore than just let your date know that you enjoyed your time with them; they will appreciate it either way. Of course, asking if they want to do this again sometime is another good thing to say, if you’re ready.