Two best friends were tired of the single life, and they were tired of the regular old dating scene. So, they make a pact–to try online dating.
They chose a dating site, and they helped each other set up their online profiles. Then, they decided that they would meet back up in two weeks and talk about their experiences.
(If you are looking to start your own profile, but aren’t sure which site to choose, check out our post about Dating Site Reviews.)
The two friends were opposites in many ways, including their approaches to online dating. The next two weeks went very differently for each of them.
There was Jill, the outgoing one. Online dating was her idea. While she was nervous at first, online dating soon became exciting! So many guys to message and talk to, it was hard to decide which ones to choose. So, she picked them all! She sent and received so many messages, she started to lose track of who was who. Not really meaning to, she spent hours and hours at it each day. She had lots of guy friends, but no one who really stood out among the crowd.
Then there was Roni, the shy one. She was timid about trying online dating; she definitely needed the extra boost of confidence her friend provided. Only, once she was all signed up, she didn’t do much. She just didn’t see the point in spending so much time with online dating. Sure, she checked in every three or four days, but she didn’t message anyone, and she didn’t respond to anyone else who messaged her.
When the two friends met up two weeks later, they were both had similar reactions to their experiences.
“I am so disappointed in online dating! It just doesn’t work!”
Funny how two completely different scenarios made both of them so unhappy! So, what went wrong?
In Jill’s case, she was spending TOO MUCH time with online dating. She was spreading herself too thin and not finding anyone special.
In Roni’s case, she was spending TOO LITTLE time with online dating. She wasn’t putting in any work, and so she wasn’t getting anything out of it.
We can learn a lot about what not to do from Jill and Roni. So, what’s the trick to getting ahead in online dating? Spend just 20 minutes per day with online dating. No more, no less.
Why does this trick work? There are two main reasons:
- It forces you to prioritize. If you are more inclined to spend a lot of time with online dating, you need to realize that more quantity doesn’t always equal better quality. Make sure to strike a balance. Instead of endlessly searching for a higher volume of people, spend less time online. When you only have 20 minutes a day, you go for less people but more of what you are actually looking for. It forces you to be choosy. In the process, you will have less online relationships, but each one will be deeper and more meaningful.
- It’s still plenty of time to leave an impression. If you are less inclined to spend time with online dating, 20 minutes per day doesn’t sound too daunting. You can do anything for 20 minutes, right? But the nice thing is, 20 minutes is plenty of time for you to message a few people, respond to some messages, and get yourself out there. You can’t get any results without putting in at least a little effort.
After talking, Jill and Roni realized their mistakes. So, they make a new pact–to each spend 20 minutes per day with online dating. Of course, once they each found their special someones, they spent a little longer online. But the good thing was, they were no longer searching.