Think for a moment of the most taboo person to fall in love with. I can think of a few awkward crush possibilities. Your boss. Your best friend’s sibling. Your second cousin. Ew.
How about this one: your current flame’s best friend. Yikes. Can’t get much more taboo than that. And yet… sexy at the same time.
It’s funny how love works (or in some cases, a crush). Sometimes it makes sense, but sometimes it doesn’t. It just… happens. Whether you want it to or not.
But let me tell you why falling for your date’s best friend actually makes total sense. Initially, in some way you were attracted to your date. Whether you met online or in the produce section of the grocery store, something about your date sparked your interest. Perhaps it was his/her smile, but eventually there was enough in common that you two decided to date.
As you get to know this person, you realize you have some things in common. You like what they like. You find them interesting. You are dating romantically, but you are also becoming great friends.
Ok. So wouldn’t you think this new person’s best friend would ALSO think those same things (in a non romantic way)? But for just a longer amount of time than you.
So it seems natural that maybe you could be attracted to this best friend, too. The only problem is, you’re already spoken for, with someone this best friend values and trusts.
Therein lies the conundrum. It really is one of the trickiest situations you can be in. Because these two friends had each other before you came along… but then love can be a powerful thing.
This is a gray area for a lot of people, frought with emotions and mystery. If you are in a quandry, here are some idea of what to do if you fall for your date’s best friend.
●Really Sort Out Your Feelings
The number one thing you need to do is figure out if this is one of those passing crushes. It’s pretty common to “fall for” someone who you can’t have. Forbidden love can be exciting, until the time comes when it isn’t forbidden anymore. So before you get a little bit carried away, really sort out your feelings. Could this be a short-term crush? Are you obsessive and over-thinking about this other person? How much do you even know about this other person? Sometimes we just fall in love with the idea of a person without really even knowing them fully.
●Talk to the Best Friend
Sometimes we let our fantasies go wild. We interpret a little touch or a little smile or a flirty comment to mean more than it was intended to mean. Before you let your feelings run off into the sunset, you need to find out if this other person even has any feelings for you. The sooner you can do this, the better so your feelings don’t go on for too long. If the best friend doesn’t have feelings for you, then it makes things a lot easier because you know it can’t go anywhere. However, if they do have feelings for you, then you have a lot of thinking to do.
●Possibly See It As a Sign
If your eye is wandering to another person, perhaps it is less about this new person, and more about issues with your date. Obviously there are reasons why you are with your date. But if you’re still “looking,” then maybe this date isn’t the one for you after all. Evaluate if your current relationship is really right for you. If it’s not, break things off and stay single for a while before jumping into something new.
●Realize What is At Stake
If you are sure that this new person is “the one,” it’s important to realize what is at stake. First, the friendship between your current date and their best friend could completely break apart if you were to make the switch, or even just attempt to make the switch. Second, if you do switch, the new relationship may not work out, and in that case you’d have two failed relationships. Is the possibility of switching worth it?